Hanbok Collection Season3 Lexi

Hanbok Collection Season3 Lexi

My so long muse, Lexi! Second photoshoot with her at the exact place in Roswell. The time and weather have changed, but realized that the magic of space is always eternally long-lasting. With Lexi and one of my uniquely made Hanbok dresses.

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"Singularity" Fashion Collection by Chloe

A fashion collection collaborating with a fashion designer, in a forever! The photoshoot was decided in two weeks ahead of the date; it did feel last moment but I had to say yes as soon as after Chloe’s collection. I was astonished; somehow I always thought my artistic, fashionable style that is a mix between Hanbok, femininity, Victorian, modern- was a bit outsider from the mainstream. Seeing her collection was a joyful discovery that I was not alone, and there was somebody wanting me not just for a boring lookbook photographer, but as an artist to capture her artwork in the most creative, unique way. I had such a blast for the two hours in the beautiful natural light studio that when I was driving back home I seriously thought about applying as a fashion photographer after I graduate (laugh). Anyhow, I really thank Chloe and Dasom for creating unforgettable photoshoot at SCAD, as an official fashion photoshoot. xoxo

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

BTS ♡

Hanbok Collection Season2 - Dasom

페인팅과 모션미디어를 전공으로, 조소를 부전공으로 공부하고 있습니다. 두 전공의 비전을 생각하고 공부를 시작한 것이 아니어서 제 전공들의 비전에 대해서는 잘 모르겠습니다. 하지만 두 전공 모두 나의 세계를 실질적으로 창작하여 보여줄 수 있다는 공통점이 있네요. 페인팅은 현실 세계에서, 모션미디어는 디지털 세계에서 저를 표현하는 언어라고 말 할 수 있을 것 같아요. 조각은 페인팅 전공이 가지는 2D적인 한계를 넘어 공간을 컨트롤 하는 것을 도와줍니다. 두 전공과 부전공 모두 제가 생각하는 것들을 현실로 끌어내게 해주고 그걸 해 나가는 과정이 저에게는 너무 즐겁습니다.

I major in painting and motion media, and with sculpture as a minor. I do not have a specific vision yet, but all those three do have a common ground where they help me create my own world tangibly and realistically. Painting works more in the reality, motion media in media world. Then, sculpture, would be a tool to overcome and exceed all both reality and media and create a different platform of the world. I dearly enjoy all the majors to express and pull out the thoughts in my head into reality and the process is always unexpected.

가장 좋아하는 색은 매번 바뀌는 것 같아요. 요즘은 시린 청록과 옅은 새벽 서리의 푸르스름 그리고 거기에 부서지는 램프의 불빛색이 좋아요. 깊은 심해의 어두운 색과 숲의 생명력 넘치는 짙은 녹색이 좋아요. 꽉 차서 들어갈 곳이 없는 그 빽빽함이 주는 깊이감이 좋은 것 같아요. 요즘 하는 작업들이 그런 쪽이어서 그런 것 같습니다.

My favorite color always changes. These days my favorites are the cold turquoise and the blue of the dusk, and the yellows that come from old lantern. I even like the deep ocean blue and the liveliness of dark green. I love the depth of the colors that there is no empty space, it just fills all the space right in. These colors are definitely the colors I have been working on a lot these days.

한복을 보면 아름답다 그리고 우리가 거기에 담겨 있구나 하는 생각이 들어요. 입었을 때 나를 감싸오는 천을 보면 이것이 선조들의 삶이구나 하는 기분입니다. 자연과 어우러져 삶을 흘려보내기도 하고 때로는 열망적으로 때로는 무위의 삶을 살았던 한국이 녹아 있는 옷이어서 그런 가봐요. 한복의 선이 담은 고국의 흐름을 사랑합니다. 한복이 보여주는 기개와 자유로움을 사랑해요. 한때 전통무용과 사물놀이 그리고 전통공예를 배우면서 느꼈던 한국적인 맛을 일상생활에서 사람의 몸에 녹여내는 그 멋짐을 사랑합니다.

Every time I see Hanbok I realize the beauty and ourselves in the garment. How the fabric embraces around me I remember the lives of the ancestors. It seems like I can feel the lives of our ancestors how they lived in the full nature and lived the lives of street travelers. I dearly love the lines that the Hanbok makes and how there is a certain flow of river of Korea in the garment. There is both spirit and freedom. As I have experience in traditional dancing and folk art, I respect the effort to have such beauty of country in a daily basis subject, which is clothing.

환상적인 분위기에서 서늘함이 느껴진다 라는 이야기를 많이 들었습니다. 그것이 저의 특성이 아닐까 합니다. 표현하고자 하는 주제가 있다면 그 주제를 위한 최고의 재료를 선택하기 위해 계속해서 배우고 도전합니다. 그래서 페인팅, 설치, 디지털 미디어 아트 등등 다양한 작품들이 나오는 것 또한 저의 작품 특성이라고 생각합니다.

I’ve been told that my artworks have a certain feel of coolness in the midst of fantasy. I presume that is my strong characteristics of art. If I have a subject in mind I do not stop to find the perfect media for that subject. Maybe that is why I am capable in many different fields of art; painting, installation art, and digital media.

좋은 예술가가 되고 싶습니다. 저에게 좋은 예술가란 선배 예술가들이 만들어둔 것들을 이어받아 예술 최전선에서 최선을 다해 작업을 하고 그 유산을 다시 후대 예술가들에게 잘 전달하는 좋은 연결고리가 되고 싶어요.

I want to be a good artist. A good artist to me it means I respect the art that was created from our ancestors and work the best at where I am standing in present and inherit the treasure to the next generation. I want to be that right connection.

Hanbok Collection Season2 - Lexi

Ah! My eyes were dreaming uploading all these photos - just so beautiful, melancholy, wouldn’t I say it’s like a photograph version of Monet’s work! I had both digital and film camera for these looks at Roswell, Georgia.

Lexi was in my printing class; I always thought her face had such emotions that drew up curiosity and like.. a story-telling vibe. Whatever that is, after few weeks in school I asked her to be my model and that was when I was invited by her to visit her home town Roswell which was only about 30 mins from Midtown Atlanta. I stayed one night at Roswell and I loved the neighborhood; it was like Utrecht next to Amsterdam- not the biggest city which there is no busy vibe and only locals go to local restaurant- quiet and lovely. We went to this historical garden and house area where Lexi showed me places with so many flowers. Flowers and flowers here and there! (She knew my aesthetic way too well) It was one of the first times having a white model wear my recent Yubi boutique designed garments and she looked like a modern Goddess of nature; she pulled it off more than I could imagine, yes, with that perfect 'story-telling face’ (laugh). Because I had a digital camera also this time I was bombarded with photos but even enjoyed that long time to edit and do layouts.

Can’t wait to have Lexi again this Spring- after the printing class ended I accidentally bumped into her this quarter at the lobby of the school and I literally screamed because she’s like the only person I know in school haha. I was so happy to see my model in life (?!) when I was just staring at her from screen editing the photos. Anyways we promised to catch up at Roswell again maybe go to a cute coffee shop and do another one like this for sure.

Enjoy x x

Maybe a light blue or green. I find myself often immersed in nature and those two colors resinate a lot with me.

I would say I am very caring and genuine as a person. I want the best for anyone and am always kind to whoever I meet. I am also very loyal.

I see myself as always evolving into becoming a better person but not feeling the need to change in society’s standards today.

I am from America with a background of northern European and eastern European. I would say my eyes, hair, and skin tone is what I like most about myself. I have accepted that the skintone you were born with is obviously what you are going to look best in rather than being in fake tan.

My favorite fashion style would be a mix between preppy, vintage, and chic. I love an effortless style yet still being stylish with classic cut outs and prints. I sometimes experiment with maybe some bold colors now and then and step out of my comfort zone but I often wear neutral palette tones and blues. Even if fashion keeps evolving, a classy look will never go out of style.

Hanbok Collection Season2 - Greg

Greg was the first person I ever asked for a photoshoot from SCAD. I took a printing class and I would come earlier than class time to do my assignment on the school printer; he was one of the students who did that too. That day he was learning printing from Alan (a printing master friend in the photography major) and he did not have the EPSON Luster premium printing paper and I offered some for him to use. His professor was next to him and told him “You gotta buy a new whole pack and give it back to her!” Then our conversations stared, realized he’s French immigrant. Even though majority of his life he lived in States but spoke French fluently too. By the time I was kind of drawing my next photo sessions including men with long hair, with my feminine style. Back then when we talked he had longer hair than the photos below, and asked him to be my model without returning the paper back. It was a chilly but sunny March-ish at Wynn park, I was surprised his photos turned out kind of matching what he said about himself from the interview. He graduated this year (2022) and went back to New Jersey. Hope you are doing fine Greg- his shoot is probably the blueprint of my future UB Studio men shoots :)

All the photos are from film camera. I carried two cameras for color and b&w - Enjoy!

I moved to the US when I was 9; I attended my first American school was when I was 10. I was timid, had a huge accent, and my English was not fully developed. I was also slightly socially inept, not always understanding people's subtle intentions behind their words or actions.

While my parents and I had our disagreements. We still learned of our differences in personalities and approaches to our communication style. This helped me in an adaptive mindset and how I knew better to talk and understand their enjoyments and frustrations. We do not often communicate when I am away, and I call them once a month and discuss with them for an hour instead of several small calls throughout the month. The most inspiring family member is grandma on my dad's side. She has inspired me in an artistic and philosophical as well. Her soft, determined and positive energy is infectious and has led me to try to be similar in approaching situations, conflicts, and my artwork.

My major is Film and TV, and my minor is photography. Sorry for the confusion, lol. But I have chosen film because of its wide variety of adventurous opportunities when making a narrative film. I also enjoy the creative and world-building process behind the storytelling elements when making a film. I ended adding photography as my minor halfway through my SCAD years because it supported my visual, narrative, and creative approach in the storytelling department of the film. I want to see my shots or the placement of my subject and characters - I can take the inspiration of my work and reuse it in other stories I develop into a movie.

As a filmmaker - I would like to see myself as a writer, producer, and director telling worldbuilding dramas, psychological thrillers, and sci-fi concepts and worlds. As a photographer, I genuinely enjoy the documentarian and artistic approach to street photographs and BTS photos of film sets. But I also want to invent my own narrative stories within a photo series - examples would be photographers like Duane Michaels, William Klein, or Gregory Crewdson.

My strengths in personality are openness and adaptability to any environment. I can talk to anyone, and I have a determined mindset.

My favorite colors are dark blue, black, and sometimes white. I am often attracted to neutral colors.

Vintage Engagement Session with Taein & Cindy

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I'm very excited to share and document these as a very memorable wedding/bridal session I ever did. The location was at Harwelden Mansion, and when we first had the visit I was not completely sure if I could pull out the classic imagery they were seeking for. Outdoor wedding was such long ago and compared to indoors outdoors are always intimidating.

But Taein and Cindy were so flexible and cooperative the whole way, I still can't believe we took these many amazing shots in that two hours (including changing times!). I believe these wedding shots are the most vintage, unique ones I've ever done and because they are so classic but modern at same time, they will never look old- and how perfect is that for a wedding photoshoot!

Revisiting these photographs at their actual wedding was such a joy: my behind the scenes youtube video was playing in the background constantly which was a plus. Many guests of them who I did not even know complimented the photographs during the wedding which was such an honor. Thank you for the great assistants, the mansion managers, and the beautiful couple. Behind the scenes youtube video is at the end of the post:)

Youtube Behind the Scenes!

Hanbok Collection - Destiny

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Destiny

Destiny had many art classes with me in university. We saw each other's works constantly, talked about life, art, relationships, in studio all the time. She was always smiling, bright, and interested about my outfit, art, photography, and anything surprised her. Such innocent, pure heart made me disarmed to open myself to her and creating such conversations were so fun. I still remember her soft but deep charcoal drawings of Disney princesses, Michael Jackson, and other celebrities. She always had colorful details in her outfit and accessories- we would always compliment each other. And it's been more than four years, and she seemed to remain exactly the same. Clean, bright eyes, staring at me when I talk, and laughing without any hinderance. It was such a thanksgiving time with her to have in front of the lens, I really appreciate her time and effort to be my artistry.

This time I tried the yellow & black polaroid film which was so much fun. Something different, but I love the sepia tone that it carries, it's so antique and matched Destiny's skin tone perfectly! I used my RP, Sigma Art 24-75, and Tilt shift Canon 45mm F 2.8. My polaroid camera is a 600 series Amigo 620, with a 600 Flash bar.

I love that I'm an empathetic person. I really care about people and I like being able to feel what someone else is feeling.

When I look in the mirror I see myself as a princess. When I was a little girl, my parents would always call me "Princess Destiny" and to this day that's how I envision myself.

The color that I see myself is purple. I feel like it represents royalty and peace and I've always been attracted to that color.

My nationality is African American and Native American. I'm so proud of my heritage. I feel like I come from an amazing group of strong, hard working, intelligent people with a rich culture. 

Hanbok Collection - Mariah

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'Model' in a while!

It was kind of intimating to search for 'model' because I have not done that in a while and model agencies here in Tulsa were so small and pretty.. uncooperative. Nonetheless, Mariah was so encouraging and easy to communicate to begin with and she read my color of artworks quick like that. I am very excited about this photoshoot because it was a body of photographs that I imagined- in the mixture of both digital and film, and polaroids! Such mix of mediums really bring out the nostalgic, faded, yubi-like mood that I have always been longing for but just keep sticking with film camera on the side was something not that easy. But it's also so fascinating that if I wasn't me, I would not be able to tell which is digital and which is film, that is how much I edit my photos towards film color. Especially in the b&w.

Just as Jon my assistant was surprised to Mariah because she fit my aesthetics so perfectly- Mariah had beautiful features that I cannot ask for more- and I was really excited to hear about her dreams of modeling & acting. I am so glad I reached out to her first, to making the starting point of capturing models who are not an acquaintance of me but to get to know them through the photoshoot and also the interview, of course. The reason I did not capture model for the longest time I came back from London is because when I hire them they think they are just 'modeling,' and they are usually busy fitting themselves to the photographer's need. But thank God the interview Mariah answered were so deep enough to know that she is still a young beautiful lady inside and out and I could treat her as she is, in a touch of my aesthetics. :)

Thank you to Mariah's fiance for being such a great art director, assistant also, and Jon for carrying all that camera stuff outdoors for our beautiful outdoor shootings.

My digital body is Canon RP, film camera Nikon N65, polaroid 620 Amigo.

Enjoy!

"I’m a very empathic soul and want equality for all. Being caring to my family, friends and the world at large gives me purpose."

"When I look at the mirror,

I see my self [as a]  powerful, soulful, very wizened [human] in a traumatic way."

"I want to do modeling because It’s fun and expressive. A perfect outlet for my creative energy.I’m a very energetic creative person. I want to express artistic beauty in a raw powerful way. The underdog. Against all odds."

Vivi

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Green

I feel like I’m a dark green. I feel that it symbolizes patience. It isn’t a warm color, but it is rich and full of life. I don’t think I am a very warm person, but I am full of life.

참 오랜만에 만난 Vivi. 10년전에, 대학교 1학년때인가 처음 만나고 다시 만난 우리. 큰 변화 없이 둘다 한결같은 모습임을 느꼈다. 그녀는 그녀의 모습을 보기 위해, 나는 나의 특별한 포트폴리오를 담기 위해, 서로 돕기 위해 다시 만나서 참 설레고 기대되었다. 촬영을 결정하기 전에 잠깐 문자를 주고 받았는데 청각장애인들을 돕고 싶어서 청각학을 공부하고 있다는 이야기를 했다. 수화를 배우고 나서 관심이 생겼다는 말을 했는데, 참 유니크한 그녀의 이야기를 담고 싶다는 마음이 들어서 결정을 했다. 그리고 기대한것 처럼, 그녀는 인터뷰에 그녀의 많은 것을 쏟아주었다. 쏟아준 만큼 나는 촬영 준비가 너무 쉬웠고 순조로웠다. 10년만에 본 내게, 흔쾌히 그녀의 이야기를 열어주어서 새삼 고마웠다.

I haven't seen Vivi in ten years, and surprisingly, we both seemed the same as we met again for this creative collaboration. Just a bit older, we were grown mature to help and support eachother's important values and special portfolio. As I got to text with her shortly through Social Media it didn't take long for me to decide to capture her. The fact that she was studying audiology to help people with hearing loss and her recent short hair had to mean something in her life and her inner beauty. Just as I expected, the interview she sent me was very deep just as she chose her favorite color dark green. It really actually was a spontaneous shoot because it all happed in a week or so, but I believe it was a meant to be.

Audiology

In high school, I took sign language with one of my favorite teachers. I quickly fell in love with this “manual language” and wanted to be a bigger part of the community. It isn’t that I wanted to be in audiology because I wanted to “fix” the deaf and hard of hearing. I wanted to be an audiologist, a person that many deaf individuals have to go see, and be someone that actually knows their language. How amazing would it be for them to be able to go see a doctor that they have to see for medical reasons and not have to bring a translator. There is such a large issue of audiologists who don’t know sign language and it is such a huge part of the population that we serve.

I’m just imagining my mother before she learned how to speak english fluently, having to go to an english doctor and not understanding completely what was wrong and how to fix it. It would just be better if healthcare could be more accessible for all.

그녀는 청각 장애인들을 돕고 싶은 마음을 마치 본인의 어머니가 이민자라서 영어가 어려운 데 병원을 가는 불편함을 덜어주는것과도 같다고 이야기 했다. 들리지 않는데 본인의 언어, 수화를 하지 못하는 의사에게 가서 본인의 문제와 아픔을 열심히 호소한다 한들 얼마나 전달이 될까. 그리고 그녀는 그러한 비슷한 문제를 늘 겪었던 이민자 부모의 삶을 얼마나 많이 보며 불편함을 느꼈을까. 그 불편함을 직접 수화를 배우고, 공부를 해서, 많은 사람들에게 직접적인 그들만의 언어로 도움을 주고싶어하는 마음이 참 가치 있는 추구라고 생각이 들었다. 그래서 그녀의 손을 꼭 찍고 싶었고, 그녀가 만드는 수화를 보고 싶었다.

Breath of Emotions

I do think that I am very patient with other people. Or at the very least, I give people multiple chances and the opportunity to try again. I have always been the most patient with my family and I feel that it is a core part of who I am today.

I also believe that I am very empathetic. I cry very easily and quite often, but not always because I’m sad. It can be because I feel an overwhelming amount of pride or an overwhelming amount of joy. It can be pain and sadness, but really any amount of strong feelings, negative or positive can bring tears to my eyes. I used to really suppress this part of myself a lot. I hated to cry in any situation so I very easily would make myself more devoid of emotion to avoid this.But now I feel that it is such a beautiful part of who I am, I fully embrace it. Emotions are beautiful and I should express them.

Burst of Emotions. 그녀의 촬영을 준비하면서 가장 많이 떠오른 단어이다. 하얗고 풍성한 안개꽃이 만개하는 공중 Installation이 참 잘 어울릴것 같다는 생각이 인터뷰 답변들을 듣자마자 번뜩 들었다. 꼭 슬퍼서만 우는것이 아니라, 기뻐서, 혹은 본인의 연약한 모습이 벅차서, 여러 감정이 만들어내는 눈물들. 나는 그것이 그녀에게 그녀 자체가 되었다는 마지막 말이 참 와닿았다. 나의 약점이라고 생각했던 부분을 안아주는 스스로의 모습. 그녀는 본인이 사실은 자신감이 없는 편이라고 했지만 이렇게 스스로를 안아주고 있다는것 만으로, 본인을 사랑하는 첫 단계에 잘 오르고 있다는 확신이 들었다.

Her favorite flowers(plant) were Baby's breath and Eucalyptus. Probably the easiest flowers I ever got for any of my photoshoots. This answer was the strongest that remained in my mind that motivated me to create the set. The burst of emotions really made me draw a picture in my mind of baby's breath air installations like balls. Maybe because it echoed with me the most, as I was similar to her, but now I think it is an advantage to be someone so expressive and knows how to let go of the tears regularly, because I believe tears is another language of speaking. The floral installations metaphor her tears of joy, sadness, and other emotions that are necessary to her.

The time of passing

The most amount of feedback I have ever received from supervisors, friends, and lovers is that I need to have more confidence in myself. Not in the way where I am insecure in my body or how I present physically to the world, but rather the way that I think of myself and carry myself in a room. I am very self deprecating. I don’t often feel like I am proud of myself or that I am competent in my skills or that I am even doing a “good” job in life. I feel that I am always subpar and that I could always do better. If I could change my confidence or my perception of myself instantaneously, I would.

I am trying to work on it, but it is very difficult for me. As far as things that I wish I could change but I cannot, I don’t focus on those at all. I don’t think that we should focus on parts of ourselves that we dislike but cannot change. If we feel bad about something that we cannot change, then it is perhaps societies’ fault and not our own.

그녀는 낮은 자존감, 스스로에 대한 자신감이 없음에 대해 솔직하게 얘기했다. 그리고 본인을 바라보는 스스로의 시각도 바꾸기 위해 노력하고 있다고, 그러나 참 매우 어렵다고 솔직하게 털어 놓았다. 그것이 좋았다. 본인의 현재를 아무런 꾸밈없이 말할수 있는것. 아마 그녀의 현재가 좋았더라도 그녀는 같은 덤덤한 태도로 말했을것같은 생각이 든다. 그러나 그 감동은 같지 않았을까. 본인의 현재를 지각하고, 말할수 있으며, 그것이 본인만의 싸움임을 표현할수 있는 모습이 멋지다고 생각했다. 나는 어떤 사람이 지금 되었고, 무엇을 이루었으며, 라는 '이미 완벽하게 끝난' 것들로 나를 치장하는 현대사회 속에서, 참 빛날 만한 가치라고 생각이 들어서일까, 그녀의 이 질문에 대한 답변도 기억에 참 많이 남았다.

This was another part that strongly echoed with me as well, not because she shared her vulnerability, but because she was so blunt and innocent about her 'present.' Whether or not her present or what is was going through 'now' was bad or good, she just openly shared and that is powerful. By sharing her present status of her mind and struggles, it really led me to create a set to capture her bit closely and deeply. When this society is all about what we have accomplished and what we have become, simply saying describing all the 'completed' things to define ourselves, she knew how to describe herself as herself. Nonetheless, it's her anyways. And that was the core part of this photoshoot of her.

In the mirror

I feel that my face has changed so much in the past several years as far as settling into my “adult” face. I have also cut my hair very short for the first time in my life. I have stopped wearing as many ‘feminine’ things. I am enjoying putting on a different look to the world and becoming more comfortable in my skin. I think that I used to look in the mirror and critique it for everything I didn’t enjoy seeing. But now I feel that I am more body neutral as in that is my body and that it is my face and it is a good body that does good work. I have arms that do things that arms should do and legs that do things that legs should do. And that is enough.

The Subiras

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Family & Wedding Session

Can't believe we did make this work! And a wedding session which I did not expect at all, but was definitely a great start of my wedding portfolio. I never thought of capturing couples that were married already, but now I think about it, 'already' married couples have the own unique beauty just as the 'just about to get married' couples. Both are exciting and charming, but have different shades of color that represents them, and I started to appreciate it by seeing Priscilla and Israel's family.

Aela's facial expression gets funnier and funner...Haha. It was my first time having a dog in the photoshoot, and it was pretty energetic. It's definitely sure a flurry animal makes the photos look bit more warm and cuddly. Jon and I had a dinner time with the Subira family before the session, and that relationship build up did a great push to the photos. Having that quality time added on their comfort zone to be themselves just like their house was meaningful.

Priscilla & Israel

I remember Priscilla from my undergrad at ORU, she always had bright, highlighted long hair. I still remember she dressed semi-formal but with sheer materials that made her look free and comfortable. Even without her saying where she was from I did assume she had a vibe that was not from here. Nevertheless she always smiled with big mouth and her eyes shaped like crescent moon, and that connection we had made me ask her to become my model for the senior art collection. Even though we never talked so much, but only at school, here and there, she was always the same. Complimenting my outfits, my handmade macarons and to my petite photoshoot. And few years later, now, capturing her again with her love of my life is quite dazzling. As Israel was staring into her face as she wore her wedding gown again, I kinda understood why his facial expressions looked way different from his single portraits (lol). I knew why she looked so beautiful.

The dress

I have actually never seen a wedding dress this close, for this long time, just for my shoot. I was pretty nervous and excited to capture such a garment that seemed like a Cinderella's dress which every girl admires and fantasies. The dress that Priscilla got handmade from Brazil was simple and gorgeous; it had that right middle point between vintage and sleek. The fact that Priscilla was in her lightest weight because of breastfeeding and she is in her wedding dress before she had her daughter was a beautiful connection I never thought of. I do remember from her wedding photographs she had long, pretty hair dreadlocks, now she has the bright brown straight hair again. That time in between was only seen through by my heart and it was a delight to capture that.

Aela

What a happy baby. When I see Aela smile and laugh, I see the exact same crescent eyes from Priscilla. She danced upon the Korean version (original) of baby shark video that Jon played, and it was hilarious. Just as we are more used to the foreign language than English, maybe she heard the unique language (as mom and dad speaks Brazilian) and it was more natural to her. I thought capturing a baby and the cuddly Klem (husky) together was a thought-breaker for me because in Korea all the adults, or at least my parents always thought having a furry animal when the baby was born not healthy. I actually do not know why exactly until now (maybe the hair), but after capturing two together it should actually be a really good idea to let my child have a furry sibling to grow up together. Haha.

The shoot went so fast, Aela took a 20min nap in between, and Klem pooped in my closet (LOL). But it was so fun and intimate, to have a family over in my built up space for them to part of it and help me create another beautiful documentation. Hope to see them again, before they fly to Brazil. Thank you!

The Trinity

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The Swains.

Nina and Nicole were my best friends in high school. I remember going to high school being like the only two asians in the school - but thank God, I had a great group of friends where we hung out all the time, went to prom together, had house-overs, and had lunch everyday. The first Halloween I had in America was in Tulsa. Nina and Nicole invited me to their house, it's more than ten years ago now, but I still remember I was dressed up as a photographer witch and Ursula's spaghetti and meatballs were so delicious.

 I love being a mother. I loved being a daughter. 

I remember Ursula had short hair ten years ago, probably brunette color, but now she had beautiful, silver long hair. It was actually my first time capturing a mid-aged woman as a creative subject. I was really thankful that she reached out for a collaboration, it was a beautiful experience for me. Above were my favorites of all.

I love the relationship with Nicole.

I love the relationship with Nicole. She is still so fun and we get along very well together. Sometimes I still catch myself using the "we" pronoun when I talk about myself instead of "I" I think that says a lot about her place in my life! We are supportive of one another and can communicate easily.We both have our strengths and struggles, but they tend to complement each other to bring a nice balance when we are together. 

I love to garden and I love to cook! But, I also love to write different stories. My sister and I have a lot of fun bouncing ideas off of each other. If I ever have writers block, I just talk to her for a few hours and we have a new direction for the story. "

I'd say We're like Mary and Pippin from the Lord of the Rings.

I'd say We're like Mary and Pippin from the Lord of the Rings. Both side by side for years but having our own adventures from time to time. She's always encouraged me to be the best person I can be and I couldn't have done it without her support.

It was interesting to capture twins- I think my last was when I was still in College. And their interview answers resembled a relationship of lovers... How intimate and fascinating as I was an only child growing up, so selfish especially when I was young- afraid of losing any of my time, possessions, effort, for anyone. But I did see a glimpse that love is all about that. Sharing, giving, and being glad about it.

"To have twins is like I won the Lottery."

I never had children before, but there was deep warmth and a non-exchangeable joy in having a family, especially two beautiful daughters. She was willing to open up their private, life-time space where all their time and memories are stacked, which it was the exact same house I went for that halloween party. To create my imagined imagery at a stranger's place was challenging but it was possible through our friendship, Jon's amazing help, and excitement.

The photoshoot started and ended with Ursula. It was as if the story started with the mother, and finished with the mother as well. Just as it is said, it was an opportunity for me to think about heritage and family. That a strong connection is always there, and it is something so unique to be documented and captured. Ursula's nurturing love and time on Nina and Nicole was too wide and deep for me to capture, but it was all lingering on her eyes, smile, fingertips, and stance... Thank you again, for inviting me to be part of the unique family history.

Gray Serenity - Grace

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Grace.

I associate myself with the color gray the most. Gray is the color of indecisiveness, neutrality, and serenity. I lack a strong sense of self, and so I am often indecisive and uncertain. In most social situations, I am quiet and calm. It is difficult for me to be vulnerable/open and share my emotions with others, especially if I am not close with them. 

It's been a while I've known Grace- but I think it's an interesting relationship because we have spent a lot of time as a photographer and a model. I don't know why exactly but I thought her appearance features were fascinating and the mood she has seemed to attract me because it seems like she had a story to tell. Thankfully, she was willing to answer my personal interview questions and reveal herself deeper than I expected. The photoshoot was more than a photoshoot, it was a great opportunity to get to know her deeper.

I actually did not know the film inside my camera was B&W; I bought three rolls at once and forgot one of them was B&W. The B&W films take about two weeks to be processed which I also forgot that it was faraway. But it was perfect since I had intention to capture her black and white, as she chose gray to be her color. The color was a surprise to me, maybe I was expecting a different color that she would describe herself. But as I read her whole interview, and met her for a photoshoot and planned the whole set up, it became more clear that these B&W film was eventually perfect for her.

It's already the third photoshoot with her, and I strongly felt this time for sure that photoshoots with her is very calming. Her energy is very still, so firm that I sometimes check if she is breathing (laugh). She stays still just as I give her directions, and she seems to dive deep into the emotions I let her feel and express.

Empathy.

The inner quality that I like most about myself is my ability to empathize with others. Empathy is the capacity to understand another individual’s emotions/experiences from their perspective, and I think that is important to have to care for others. 

The word empathy was the strongest vocabulary I remembered from her interview; which I put most effort for this set. Unseen connection, I connected the flowers with transparent string, and let her softly dance around the flowers.

The black and white photographs digital versions look for sure as if it cannot reach the beauty of the films; but because I actually almost never shot in black and white except for back in London, it was a good challenge to have in my practice. In Spring quarter I learned about Sally Mann, and It was first time of actually being mesmerized of black and white photographs. Probably for next black and white I'd go for a film even though it's a bit pricy.

Two cultures.

Although I am of two cultures, I often feel that I belong to neither. From a young age, I realized that I look different from both sides of my family; I do not have blonde hair and blue eyes, but I also do not have straight black hair and dark skin. I also have been told by my peers that I am not “White enough,” or “Asian enough” in regards to my appearance and mannerisms. I am sure the people who have told me these things did not mean any harm, but their remarks and treatment have affected the way I view myself. I know that what others say about my identity should not matter, but it is difficult for me to feel secure and wanted/valued when I have been told and/or treated as if I do not belong. I love and value various aspects of my two cultures, but at the same time, I am not entirely sure of who I am or how I want to express myself. 

I actually never knew she was half German until recently. Even though I am full Korean, somehow I connect to her isolation between the two different nationalities. I felt like I never belong her neither in Korea. Visiting Korea was more of a travel, seeing my root culture from a far distance. Oklahoma was like home, but it was difficult to find people like me. It took time, but it was definitely a unique experience that created an unexpected form of identity. Whatever Grace feels relates to all of us who live in a country where it is very different from our original roots. But it seemed as she was slowly just letting her thoughts be flowing, staying, and hopefully she will find the right middle point just as I did.

Perfectionism

One thing I would like to change is my perfectionist mindset. I often set high expectations for myself, and when I am not successful, I am overly critical of myself. Though perfectionism has motivated me to complete my work and strive for more, the tendencies that I have because of perfectionism are toxic for my overall well-being. 

The Mirror

I do not think other people see me the same way that I see myself—at least I hope they do not.

When I look in the mirror, I see things that I do not like about myself. I tend to fixate on certain parts of me, and I notice small details. When I was younger, I hated my hooded and uneven eyes, large nose, and acne-prone skin. These parts of me were insecurities, and I wanted to change them so badly. I have learned to accept my appearance more now, but I still struggle to feel neutral towards it from time to time. 

The mirror shot was the finale, also one of the most exciting set I was looking forward to. Her answers were pure revelation to me, because I know exactly what she felt in front of the mirror. And I was more than certain that not only me and her, but all the females think like her in front of the mirror many times. So my purpose was not to capture her vulnerability, but her bravery. She was being strong and determined to share her own 'face' in front of the mirror. And it was powerful.

Prayer

Her prayer request and hope was clearly delivered like a love letter to me. Preparing the shoot, it was a time for me to reflect upon what kind of a person she is, and how her words echoed in me as well. The thoughts became to a prayer, and I was grateful to create a beautiful collection just for her.

I really thank her for always being so cooperative to my works. She does not talk a lot, but her eyes and mouth says a lot to me as she stares at my eyes when I talk. I really appreciate Jon, for being part of my project again- he was willing to be part of it until the last moment even though the shoot got longer. Thank you :)